Radical Thanksgiving
One brilliant autumn afternoon I turned my face to the sun and felt its warmth, drinking it in, as New Englanders do, knowing that winter snows would soon beat upon us. I do not take this sunny day for granted. I am standing in the middle of a football field exhilarated by the presence of my sons, daughter-in-law, and four of my eleven grandchildren. I see my grandson toss a toy airplane and watch it do double loops. My granddaughter just keeps swinging, announcing that she is just too happy to stop. My son helps his 6-year old son learn to fly a kite.
Patiently, my son shows him how to hold the kite, to keep running, and watch as it sails in the sky. Kite flying begins with many false starts. Still, the good father gently persists. Some readers might perceive this moment to be of small importance. After all, fathers often teach sons about the fine skill of kite flying. Be assured, this moment is special. I am about to witness a moment of radical thanksgiving.
The little boy I now watch run down the field with kite soaring overhead could not always run and play in the sunshine. In his early years, the child spent many months in a hospital, often confined to a crib. Periodically, his parents helped him walk down the hospital corridor. He wore a hospital gown and wobbled along, determined to get strong.
On that recent glorious fall day, I reminisced with my son about how far we all had come as a family.
My son agreed. “Back in the hospital, I dreamed of days like these.”
I realized that it is necessary to cultivate a spirit of gratitude, “to keep my eyes open and my spirit alert … to live in continual thanksgiving.”
Such are the words of Venerable Francis Xavier Nguyen Van Thuan. In a remarkable litany of gratitude, Cardinal Thuan felt overwhelmed by the gift of his birth, by the labors of his father, by priests who gave him the Eucharist, for being Vietnamese, and for “the people whom place obstacles in my path and cause me trouble; they help me to become holy.”
Dig deeper on that last one. What obstacles? He was imprisoned by the Vietnamese government for thirteen years, nine of those years were spent in solitary confinement.
Never again will I complain about anything.
Those obstacles are gifts. In the past I would show irritation and anger for the obstacles in my life. Slowly, I began saying thank you, Jesus for this cross. It didn’t feel natural at first, but as I kept saying thank you in all circumstances, my life became richer and more joyful.
The many car rides out to the countryside to care for my dad who had a stroke that left him paralyzed on the total right side of his body became different car rides. I started seeing the beautiful fields, the skyline over looking the lake, the sun pouring into my windshield that gave me comfort before I pulled into my dad’s driveway to give him comfort.
So many times I was angry and resentful for the turn in my life. Being a wife, mom to three children, and a teacher, I felt my life was already full, I felt this was not suppose to happen, and something went wrong and I ended up being a caregiver for my dad. I didn’t want that in my life and I wanted it to change. After all, I missed things with my children and my family as I drove out on those country roads for the past eight years. Many tears rolled down as I left my father’s home headed home to be with my own family. Why God do you have me in this place? Then this Jubilee year, I heard a message that was always there for me. I was so busy being ungrateful and angry, I didn’t hear the message before.
Jesus is there with me, I need to trust that HE is doing something with this circumstance. HE has a plan for me and this all has a purpose. He’s preparing me for something else in my life. Surrendering and trusting is what God wants from me. I started to feel God’s love for me again and I started to feel joy in the difficult times, instead of anger and resentment. I try my best to be intentional and bring my sadness and suffering to Jesus on the cross and fully give it to Him.
This last eight years has been a journey, with many troubles, but I trust that these troubles are leading me and those around me, to hopeful holiness.
Thank you Kathy for sharing your radical Thanksgiving. I wanted to take a moment to share mine.
Hi Tammy,
Such a heartfelt reflection as you travel this difficult road. Chris Stefanick writes and has videos about the importance of gratitude. It is emphasized in scripture.
May you and your family have a blessed Advent. See you in church!
Peace and All Good,
Kathy